Why do we care?

Isn't ironic sometimes, I mean most of the times we seem a little contradictive. As for me, keeping my true value is something I am fighting for..even if it upsets me sometimes. Well we are human afterall, falled for someone for nearly 9 years...close to 10 years and keep in heart for him, I am sure is not something everyone would do. I mean no sex, solely based on affection and feeling. How many of us willing to give in to it? But in fact, there's nothing to shout about..I am just being silly. For the first seven years of liking him, I didn't even go out to meet guys...but things changed or I changed. Afterall who would keep waiting for someone who would not come to you...but he still something very special to me. Always in my heart. Even if we are not meant to be together...at least this is his choice..I will be very happy to know his wellbeing or occasionally a hug and exchange wishes..that's would be fine.

So life move on, we met more temptation especially in foreign land. You know sometimes being alone in foreign land, you tend to get lonely easy. There are some people who offer...Temptation is there, but I somehow has no enough courage to step a step further...to release myself. They said it's not gay enough, people said I should learn to sleep around. Afterall we only live once. Frankly speaking, the temptation is there but I somehow just can't..or just yet. I don't know. Living in contradictive values, where I struggle in keeping my own values and keep resisting temptation. Sometimes isn't really that important? How long can I hold back? Will it helps if I keep fighting for the thing I believe is true?