Love me or not?

Dinner with friends( a couple and the guy's sister) yesterday. Both of them are so happy together. We talked a lot..basically about my previous relationships, how would my family take it if I ever come out to them. I replied honestly, I have no problem of coming out to siblings but as for parents..I don't think it's time yet.

They both embrace one another...the sweetest I am yet to witness in gay relationship or maybe I been too shallow to judge since I hardly witness enough gay relationships. But as for myself, I guess I am yet to meet someone who would take partnership seriously. Forget about the sweet talk like you are my world and I care so much for you. Action speaks louder than words they said. Most guys I mean there's nothing wrong if you love yourself more but I don't think I deserve to be part of your contigency plan when anything falls apart you come to me.

I wish to have a relationship like H&K..to plan for our future together. I don't mind to move in with you, work out anythings together even if I would be going through some hard times to be with the one I loved. They are so sweet. I can see the sparkle in their eyes each time I mentioned about the partner...totally in love...on the second thought, have I been truely in love before? I really don't know. My case is either I love someone wholeheartedly but been taken for a ride or he loved me but I am just not so much into him. Twist of fate, they said.

I really hope someone would love me and give me a reason to give my all to him again. I don't want to hold back my love and learn the so called "how to survive in gay world". I am born to give...don't hold me back..can?